I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
