Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have feelings that need drinking.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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