Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
