she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You need a sexual gate keeper
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
