i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
