Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
