I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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