If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
