Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
