Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
