Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
