you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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