he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
