So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize