I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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