Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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