i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
