8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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