I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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