Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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