My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
