yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
That's when you crack a 10am beer
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
