i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
