She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
