love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize