heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
