There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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