Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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