and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
