babies were throwing up all over the place
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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