East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
