so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
