i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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