I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
