so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize