Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
