do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
