There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
