Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
