I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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