butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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