I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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