what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
