..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
