The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
