I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize