i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize