Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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