I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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