i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
