Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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