I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
