If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
