I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
