Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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