Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
