If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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