then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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