You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
