Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
