Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
