ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
